Jesus over my day....

Last week stretched me, and grew me.  I hope i look back on it as a memorial, and never forget the lessons i learned. 

I had moments of huge overwhelm. 

I didn't think i could manage what was before me. 

I was tired of giving, and giving and giving. 

But I had forgotten!! I lost sight of Who is in control of my day. Who it is that plans and brings each disruption, opportunity, and person (and sometimes thy are all in one) into my life!!  I forgot who i am really living for: The Glory of my Heavenly Father

I got past the hard. Into quiet. 

And i realized it had all gone just fine. Better than what i had anticipated.

I want to learn, REMEMBER---

This is a moment. These days, they are simply moments in my life. They come, they go. I can accept my days, my work, my place in this life, as a gift from my Father. We so often want the glamor. The mountain top. The glory. 

But often, serving in faithfulnss requires uncomfortable. Inconvience. And unplanned things. It isn't always fun or easy.  But HE IS WITH US. He is our strength. He is our Provider. 

I have found Him to be a Faithful, Faithful Father. 

Some things I've learned in 2023

That it really is ok to slow and savor. The mad rush to do ALL. THE. THINGS.  ends in frusteration, weariness, and an unsettled feeling of discontent. We simply are not meant to do it all.

My husband and family are the most important and my first priority. Leaning into my family is something that has become very important to me. At the end of my life, they are the ones who are most affected by how i have lived and how i expended my time and energy. If they are ever asked if i loved them,  I want them to be able to say "YES" without a doubt or hesitation. 

Today may be the best day of the week, or the month, even if it is ordinary and mundane. 

Chasing after more exciting activities, or sitting in pity over what i lack, has no place in my heart. When i am thankful for what is, and what i have, I open myslef up to abundance and joy. 

Life is journey. I can be frusterated over what i need to learn, or i can remember Jesus meets me right here, and gently leads me foward, one day at a time. He is with me on the way, not just waiting for me at the finish line. 

What you feed, will grow. What you starve, will weaken. 

Reading Gods Word consistantly will give you a hunger for more. I know this to be true. 

While my phone connects me to many good things, and people, it is often  thief of my time and a cheap substitute for something better. Like a face to face connection, a walk, or thinking in quietness. 

Reading is under-rated.  Good books are a wealth of opportunity for learning and growing. And  I'm not talking e-books. I mean real, turn the pages books.  

 

Walking is therapy. For body, mind, and soul. 

Habits are created by disciplining yourself to do a hard thing over and over until it becomes a part of your life. Then, the hard part of disciplining yourself to do it fades and it becomes a more natural part of your day.  The thing that used to be hard, can even  become a non negotiable... even enjoyable. 

When one is stricken with a grief  and you receive a  blow so hard you think you won't be able to go on, you will find  you actually do keep breathing. Living. 

And if you choose ot to be so, God will not allow the horrible,terrible pain to be wasted. There will be days you see a glimmer of goodness, and a new person emerging from the pain.  I have come to see that above all, HE IS FAITHFUL, and HE IS GOOD. 

I have no  hopes that the year will be free from  pain, or suffering. I will experiece hurt from friends, misunderstanding, and unjustice. 

There will be days that feel like deserts. 

There will be uncertainties,  temptation to fear. 

But one thing i am begining to see with a surety, a clarity, and deep in my heart, is this:

Whatver comes, is for my good. 

For my growth, and for His glory. 

I can choose to let it drive me nearer to Him, 

and He will carry me through, all the way Home. 

Without Him, I have nothing. 

With Him, I have all I need. 

Happy New Year, friends. ❤️ 

Resetting a day... resetting a blog (are they still a thing??)

I have been working at consistancy, you know.. a portion of balance instead of allowing the "all or none" side of me to take over. The older i get, the more i realize that the greatest progress i make in  any given area of my life is effected by CONSISTANCY. Its not the big fell swoop of something, but rather the "one small change done day after day". 

I am working on some sustainable, healthy habits, and being consistant in them. 

Blogging may be one of those. 

Stepping back to see what is really important to me and what i want to do with this one short life i've been given. 

Falling, but realizing i can get back up right now. I don't have to wait for another day to have a restart. It can happen now. 

So here's the first post to a new start. 

What new habits do you want to work on??

These days

Wars and strife on very hand

And violence fills the land

Still some people doubt He'll ever come again

Oh, but the Word of God is true

He'll redeem His chosen few

Dont loose Hope--Jesus Christ will soon decend!

As i saw another link, for another article, on what a terrible state our country of Haiti is in, my heart felt despair. Why do we even bother to try? What difference can we make??  Things aren't getting better. 

Discouraged. 

Negetative. 

Looking for a way out. 

These people are all around us. 

So why don't we leave. We dont' have to be here. We don't have to care or spend our time here. 

But God.

He has called us into this darkness, with HIS LIGHT. We have hope, in Jesus. We have the TRUTH. 

We cannot change Haiti, or anyone. We cannot feed all the hungry, or care for all the poor, or change the hearts of the gangs. 

But we can be FAITHFUL. We can be influencers. Ambassadors. 

TODAY. 

Feed the one. 

Care for one. 

Smile and give thanks. 

Show gratitude for what we have. 

We can live out the Gospel in our marriage, and in our family. 

Will it be easy? Comfortable? 

When was following Jesus ever promised to be that? On the contrary, we are promised hardship if we follow Jesus. We can expect that. 

Maybe we won't change Haiti,  or the world , but will we be found faithful? 

At the end, thats all God is asking. 

Life as it is now

September 13 found us going for the dreaded covid tests in town and then heading over the beautiful mountains to Jacmel, where we caught our little plane to PAP.  Furlough is always an anticipated time to be with family and friends. We came weary... the last few months have been intense and emotionally taxing. 

Furlough included extra special things like spending a few days in Ohio with Jess's brother Mark and his family being in PA for my parents annual Fly-In event, a wedding, and a  night away with my mom and sisters.  We purposefully kept alot of "white space" and said no to things we wanted todo , and invites we would have loved to accept, for the greater purpose of not running around frazzled. 

We barely hit PA before Jess and I both got sick.  That set us back enough that we requested an extra week of furlough, which we were granted. We planned to go home October 19.

October 18 found us finalizing our packing and cleaning up our spaces. The kidnappings of 17 missionaries on Saturday left our hearts aching and hurt. Then, on Monday, we realized the unsteadiness of the country was escalating. 7 gas trucks had been taken by gangs who then called randsom on the trucks and drivers after taking the gas. It was apparent we may not even be able to travel to our house. Getting stuck in Jacmel with a family of 8 was not a risk we felt was wise. 

We halted the packing and i found myself reeling into a hole of disbelief, and disappointment, all the while realizing we had so so much to be thankful for. We were safe, together, and had a place to stay. 

And so the weeks have passed. Limbo. Its hard to describe how it really feels. 

Displaced, because its not home.

Heavy, because you know the reason you can't go is because the country you are wanting to go back to is in serious chaos. 

I have been a firm believer in practicing GRATITUDE. 

I still practice it. This time has given us opportunity to make more memories with family and friends. 

We have a place to stay, and its warm (inside)

The children are able to continue school. 

Jess has a job. 

There is a space between accepting what is, acknowleging that hard, and then moving forward with acceptance and purpose. 

There is the Truth to be embraced. God is still God. He has allowed these change of plans for us. He has our good in mind, and He cares for us more than we can imagine. 

I am so grateful that God always, always keeps His promises, and that in these days where change is at every hand, He never changes. 

Blessed are the flexible......

Blessed are the flexible, for they will never be bent out of shape. 

Well, after this week, we should be contorchanists. Let me explain.

I went into last weekend excited about a quiet, family weekend. No plans, Dorcas was going to the mountains, and we were just going to be HOME. It was also exciting to thing about Gary, Anne and family coming on Sunday afternoon, and then Monday evening, we planned to have Rhonda come, and some Haitian friends, for supper. Tuesday Rhonda, Anne and I were planning to take a boat to a remote beach , have breakfast, and some quiet hours together before the men , Dorcas and children arrived with lunch.

Well, about Tuesday we found out one of our friends sisters died. Rhonda and Rose needed someone to take them to the funeral on Sat. Jess agreed to take them, and he left later afternoon on Friday, drove the two hours to Rhondas, and then drove 3 hours early Sat morning. When the road was no longer passable, they hiked the rest of the way. It was late Sat when they returned to Rhonda, and Jess planned to come home Sunday morning.

Before he left, however, Weston had a very freak accident. A button snapped on a string he was playing with, and it hit his eye. The longer it went, the more they realized it was a serious injury. Jess called and asked if Josh and I could change the tire on the truck so he could quickly swap from UTV to truck. (first time for everything!) They arrived and got some clothes packed and left for a hospital in Cayes. In the meantime, Gary and Anne are caught in roadblocks and demonstrations, and had to turn around. Predictions for bad roads on Monday and Tuesday took beach plans off the radar.

Upon examination, Weston was scheduled for surgery on Monday. No hope was given for his sight to return.

After a long and delicate surgery, Weston is stabilized but unable to be discharged.

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Purpose-- having as ones intention or objective

This year, PURPOSE has been my theme. I have started writing down goals, making lists, and being intentional about what my purpose is, even in little things.

I am finding that when my purpose is bigger than my feelings, bigger than "what will people think" , bigger than my comfort zone, and written down where i can see it, I can walk valleys with confidence, tackle work that looks daunting, and carry through when the odds are against me. Purpose takes the focus off myself, and onto a greater goal.

And this is what carried me, to a large degree, this last week. I have purposed, that by Gods grace, i will make it as easy as i can for Jess to be fully present at his job. This time, it meant that instead of feeling sorry for myself that i had to be alone most of the week, i made a deliberate decision to care for the children well, count our blessings that even tho Daddy wasn't here, he wasn't gone forever. It meant remembering that mission is doing whatever is in front of us, with faithfulness, as unto the Lord. My attitude so largely effects my children's, and trust me, when you take a bad attitude x 7 it sure isn't pretty.

 

Being purposeful is grounding. 

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And so we took one day at a time. Words of affirmation, blessing and encouraging messages flooded my phone on my birthday. Dorcas and Maritta blessed me with a little party. I felt loved and cared for.

Tuesday past, then Wednesday.

On Thursday we finally saw Jess, Weston, and Rhonda, arrive. What a happy reunion!

How blessed our children are to have a Daddy who loves and cares for them. How grateful i am to have a husband who cares for people in need, and willingly sacrifices comfort and family to do the next right  thing, willingly. He loves us well, and loves us first. 

This is mission. This doing the next thing purposefully, faithfully, for the Lord. f

We head into the weekend, laying aside any previous plans so we be together as a family.

(at least that the current plan;))

All the way my Saviour leads me,

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

who through life has been my Guide.

Heavenly peace divinest comfort,

Here by faith, in Him to dwell,

For i know what'ere befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well

Recently i had several moms ask me about the order of our days, how we schedule and work everything in that needs to be done. 

When i think about our home, and what i want the tone and atmostphere of it to be, i realize that it largly depends on me, as a mom. My attitude, my responses, the tone of my voice, and how i approach the things that are thrown into our day, can effect the entire family in short order.   This also effects my productivity. 

Anytime i get on this subject with my mom friends, we nearly always walk away with this nutshell conclusion; it comes down to self discipline. 

Self discipline will leave its mark on every one of our days, just like the lack of self discipline leaves its own mark. 

You will see a difference in positive, versus, negative, results in your day. 

"Discipline is choosing between what you want now, and what you want most" -Abraham Lincoln.

Without further bunny trails, i'll jump right into answering a question from my friend "Amy". 

" How do you plan out your days? Do you have a planner? Do you do certain things on certain days?" 

 

For those of you who know me well, it may be a surprise that i do not have a planner, for our days. I only recently learned to love list making, (and wow, i am benefiting  from that!) 

I am a huge HUGE fan of being proactive. I thrive on it. Because of this, almost all of my housework is done because I GET TO do it, and not because i  HAVE TO. 

Let me explain. Because I clean very throughly every week, i actually wouldn't't HAVE TO clean each week.  (But because its never terrible, its actually not even hard todo!) 

* Thursdays is cleaning day, and typically we all work on it together. We also wash bedding that day. 

Because i do laundry every day, i wouldn't't even have to do it every day. (But because i do, there isn't't a lot and I cannot even relate to mountains of laundry piled up)

Get what i mean? 

So our days have more rythms  than schedules. Maintaining every day, by doing a few small loads of laundry, sweeping floors, wiping surfaces, putting things in their "home" after we use them, and putting one project away before we start another.... it all adds up to reaping the reward of chaos being rare, filth and clutter minimal, not to mention stress of getting ready for guests is very little. 

Before you think our life is perfect and we never have any issues, thats not true. But  i can tell you this. 

You reap what you sow.

 If you are intentional with teaching your children to work along side you, if you are consistent and lovingly disciple them, you will reap blessing. 

And its always good to remember this :

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" Gal. 6:9