Life as it is now

September 13 found us going for the dreaded covid tests in town and then heading over the beautiful mountains to Jacmel, where we caught our little plane to PAP.  Furlough is always an anticipated time to be with family and friends. We came weary... the last few months have been intense and emotionally taxing. 

Furlough included extra special things like spending a few days in Ohio with Jess's brother Mark and his family being in PA for my parents annual Fly-In event, a wedding, and a  night away with my mom and sisters.  We purposefully kept alot of "white space" and said no to things we wanted todo , and invites we would have loved to accept, for the greater purpose of not running around frazzled. 

We barely hit PA before Jess and I both got sick.  That set us back enough that we requested an extra week of furlough, which we were granted. We planned to go home October 19.

October 18 found us finalizing our packing and cleaning up our spaces. The kidnappings of 17 missionaries on Saturday left our hearts aching and hurt. Then, on Monday, we realized the unsteadiness of the country was escalating. 7 gas trucks had been taken by gangs who then called randsom on the trucks and drivers after taking the gas. It was apparent we may not even be able to travel to our house. Getting stuck in Jacmel with a family of 8 was not a risk we felt was wise. 

We halted the packing and i found myself reeling into a hole of disbelief, and disappointment, all the while realizing we had so so much to be thankful for. We were safe, together, and had a place to stay. 

And so the weeks have passed. Limbo. Its hard to describe how it really feels. 

Displaced, because its not home.

Heavy, because you know the reason you can't go is because the country you are wanting to go back to is in serious chaos. 

I have been a firm believer in practicing GRATITUDE. 

I still practice it. This time has given us opportunity to make more memories with family and friends. 

We have a place to stay, and its warm (inside)

The children are able to continue school. 

Jess has a job. 

There is a space between accepting what is, acknowleging that hard, and then moving forward with acceptance and purpose. 

There is the Truth to be embraced. God is still God. He has allowed these change of plans for us. He has our good in mind, and He cares for us more than we can imagine. 

I am so grateful that God always, always keeps His promises, and that in these days where change is at every hand, He never changes.