This space in between ....

This space in between selling the store, transitioning,  packing four ways; shipping on the Rustler  ( our vehicle that will be shipped) packing for the container ( those things we may not see til may or june) and our luggage ( 14 fifty lb totes),
It's been hard.
And blessed.
And long...
But short.

The goodbyes are HARD.
we are anxious to get there,  settled and start our new life.

Do you kinda get the idea we have very mixed feelings?

Very much so.

I am very thankful for the opportunities the last week's since the moving have offered:

We've had so many many kind people offer food, supper invitations, prayer, visits,  words of blessing,  encouraging texts,  money, help with cleaning the house one final time, phone calls and more.

I told Jess it almost feels like it's easier to leave, when I realize how much we are leaving.
Meaning.....
So much support. 
So many loving family members.
So many memories to pull off the shelf..
So many rich relationships.
So many confirmations.

What if it wasn't hard to go cause we wanted to run from bad relationship or a failing business?
What if we had no friends to say goodbye to?
What if we had no memories to look back on?
What if we were trying to push our own adjenda?
What if nobody prayed. Or cared. Or gave us a hand?

Thank God I don't have to go there,  because He has blessed us ABUNDANTLY.

Thanksgiving or Thankgetting?

Joshua Becker is probably my favorite writers in the minimilist world. His words ring clear and so true for 2016. Take the time to read this and ponder.....

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/reclaimthanksgiving/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+becomingminimalistcom+%28becomingminimalist.com%29

The country girls head to the city......

 Some of my sweetest treasures are times spent with people  I love. I've learned that I enjoy quality time over gifts that I have to dust around.  This week put an epic memory on my shelf. I am thankful for a husband who makes it possible and encourages me to take a day or two away occasionally.

 

We awaited these days for months.

Here we come Lancaster city.

 

 

This is all my sisters, mom and Sister in law. We were missing one sil.

(still wish you could have come Becca!)

 

 

 

 

 

Jean, the artsy one in the family, took us to a pottery painting session. We loved it!!! The black mug was what I chose and painted. I can't wait til it is kiln dried and ready to use.

OF COURSE THERE WERE MULITPLE COFFEE SHOPS.

and a dinner at Olive Garden.

 

 

There are always "those kind" in every family. HA!

 

 

I am so very blessed to have a mama, sisters and in-laws who are such good friends. We do so many things together, and enjoy each other so much. Thanks girls, for a very very fun time. You all are the BEST! 

.... post 5 on " a peek into our journey"

As we learned the story behind how God had prepared the buyer of our business before we even knew we were selling it, we felt a deep confirmation from God, in many ways.

As we were walking through steps to financial freedom, Jess would often engage in conversation with his various delivery personnel and business associates about the books and CD's he was listening to. Sometimes he would pass the CD's along to them to listen to as well. Interesting discussions ensued, and a few others even got "on board" and got started on their own journey in how they handled their finances. One of the persons who got CD's and who changed their course, was the buyer of our business. In my own words " if I had not received that information ( 1 1 /2 years ago)  and changed my lifestyle I would not have been in the position to buy the store"


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jess completed the transition of training and getting his things out of the store about 6 weeks ago. He was occupied with some odds and ends between here and the shop, and then he was offered a part time job about 7 minutes away from home. He accepted and life continues to be full of changes. After 11 years of him working mostly 6 days a week, and two of those days being long-into the evening- days, he packs a lunch for the first time in his life.  after 24 years of working for his dad and then being the owner of the store for 12  of those years, he is an employee:)


There is a little relators sign in our front yard, and that makes reality strike.
You can have a dream, a heart call, a longing, but it doesn't mean there isn't a loss, changes, and sometimes a twinge of sadness. We have so many beautiful memories here. Times of hard learning, valleys, and mountaintops that have shaped us for today.
 I will miss my family and esp my sisters.
I will miss my many dear friends.
I will miss the big yard  and the soft earth that I called my garden.
The flowers, the mowing yard, the neighbors pool that we could walk to.
The children being able to run freely outside.
The familiar and the routine.
My nieces and nephews.
I will miss seasons. The cool crisp fall with changing leaves. The coziness of watching the snow fall in big flakes from inside my cozy sewing room window. The springtime with the yellow finches coming to the feeder  (as many as 30 at one time last year!) and the perennials pushing through to get some of those first warm rays of spring sunshine.

I will miss cheese, and subs , and my mamas moon pies.
Grapes, apples and cider.

I will miss coffee shops and thrift stores.

Did I mention I will miss my sisters?!

I will miss seeing dad fly over our house, land across the road and taxiing into our yard.


Having said that, I am so excited about the next chapter of our lives. To follow His plan for us,  and to embrace this opportunity as a gift. It is a gift, to be called into what we have longed for.
I know that we will make new friends, learn new "normals" and embrace a new culture. Even a new language!

So, that brings us pretty much "up to date".  I know many of you are following us here, but I don't know who you are unless you make is known:)

a peek into our journey, Part 4.

We ended up being over at "Haiti Relief and Missions"  booth for almost 3 hours. There we were given another confirmation from God: they were looking for a family to go to Haiti in about 18 months. ( the exact amount of time Jess thought he needed to train someone in to run our business)

We left there with the understanding that if they really felt they wanted to pursue us as their potential family,  they would contact us. We would not call them or try to make things happen.

Within two weeks the board called to arrange an interview. We traveled to Ohio and met with board members, asked lots of questions and learned a little more about what we would be expected to do.
We learned the mission has a sewing center where ladies learn to sew and earn some money, an agriculture program about 34 minutes from the base where they are assisting with irrigation and learning amazing things about the native plants, and a haitian run clinic.

Jess would be expected to do record keeping and book work ( ah. So needing to get our finances in order was preparation for taking care of someone else's money? !) Hospital runs and trips into the city with many other little things in between. We would host many guests esp during winter months.
I would first support Jess,  be mama to our Littles,   &  work in the sewing center as needed.

Some decisions take fasting and days or weeks of prayer, and although we didn't give our answer on the spot, we both left that day with no reason to say no.
Well actually, we did have reasons. But they were selfish. Our business was going well, we had a nice house, my family is all close by; we were almost  living the American dream.
But in our heart of hearts we knew we would say yes. We had prayed that we  would not live  "typical, nominal" lives. We had prayed for this opportunity. And now it was one step nearer  reality.


We started working toward finding a manager for our store. One of the biggest blessings in the process was working with Annabaptist Financial, an organization that not only works with struggling  businesses, but also helps with business transitions. Our advisor was  a godly man who we soon learned had a lot of wisdom. He asked us about our journey, our heart for Haiti and our plan for the store. With the heart of a shepherd led us to points of thinking that brought us to realities we needed to face.
Does God want us to completely sell out the store?

We all have had moments when you meet a crossroads, and you need to choose between flesh and spirit. Isn't God so gracious to give us grace to struggle through those moments?

.... the joy of saying yes to God is worth it every time.
So with the help of Annabaptist Financial ( AF from here out ) we began to pray differently.
 Instead of a manager, a buyer.

Jess prayed that 3 or 4 people would step forward and be interested.
Before 3 weeks were up we had our fourth contact.

We ran through the formalities and paperwork involved and it finally came down to one.
When we learned his story we were again reminded that God is in this, in fact,  he was preparing our buyer for this moment before our store was even for sale.
But I'll leave that part for next time. :)

Part 3 of " a peek into our journey"

During the first year of our marriage, Jess agreed to go to Haiti to visit a friend of mine, and help with some construction work as well. Something happened as he was standing there along that mountain trail....
God spoke into his heart in a quiet voice, and he embraced the thought. "I think our future may include living in Haiti someday".
The next ten years bring children, through adoption and by birth.
They bring  long hard days at a little grocery store, serving people in our community.
They include 4 years of  the heart labor of a Haitian adoption, trips to Haiti, and finally the laying down of the dream, the relinquishing of our precious baby girl to someone else to raise her for life (and she is in a beautiful family) and going through the grief of what feels like a death.
These years include lots of hard work, personal and as a family, learning where our priorities are and how to love our children more.
These years bring another loss ... and grief as we watch a family member suffer a stroke and through that, God brought us to another level of responsibility.
The years bring a new realization that this house we have, our business, and our money; it isn't ours and we are only stewards. This is one of the Key factors in a series of changes we began to make in our family. And these changes directly impacted our journey.
The years brought continual reminders (and it was a motto) that "he who is faithful in little, will be faithful in much".

Soon after we changed our lifestyle and focus, Jess made two statments about things he felt would happen before we were asked to move to Haiti. They were huge things... and almost felt impossible.

The first thing happened and we waited.
Big thing #2 happened 3 days before we headed to Lancaster to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We wanted to attend a Haiti Benefit Auction for an hour or 2, and just spend time together. Sat morning, as we were sitting down to breakfast in the common dining area at our B&B, we were joined by another couple. Through small talk we found out they were headed to the auction too, to represent a mission there at a booth. Of course, Haiti was soon the subject of interest as we talked about both of our trips there. At one point, they said "have you ever considered living in Haiti??"  Considered? Prayed? Longed? Dreamed? YES YES YES and YES:) but of course we didn't say ALL those things. We simply said "yes, we would love to live in Haiti but we know it will happen when God wills".

They asked us to meet them at their booth, and returned to their room.
We did too, but something in our hearts were very sure something significant had just happened. This wasn't just casual question or happenstance meeting.

part 2 of " a peek into our journey"

During my teen years I so enjoyed going to mission conference. It was inspiring and captivating. Somewhere by stepping through that door you were taken from America,  to the middle of Africa, where all people ate was rice. And carried water on their heads. Where there were biggggg snakes and scary rituals and demon possessed people  but where God's power was so real that lives were changed in the name of Jesus.
They preached messages of how we need to give our lives for the sake of the Gospel. Give up all to go and serve Him.

And it wasn't that they didn't talk about those serving in the inner city.
And I'm sure they talked about being faithful where we are.
But somehow I would so often leave feeling like it was in the far away- foreign lands that it was really counted as being a missionary.

I didn't think I'd marry anyone that wasn't pursuing foreign missions, and even better, Haiti.

Fast forward a few years. I'm driving down the road and see a billboard advertisement for a little discount grocery outlet.  Sounded kinda like the one I was working at in a completely different area; miles away. I'll skip a bunch  of details to say the guy I met across the checkout counter that day eventually became my husband.
And he wasn't even interested in Haiti.

But he loved God. He was serving him faithfully in that little grocery store. Every customer mattered to him. He listened to many hurting and lonely hearts.
He gave tangibly to those who had needs. He loved to minister in special ways.... carrying groceries to a car, or Christmas caroling to customers ( of whom many were more like friends ) 

God was so good to give me this man. And to show me that a missionary is not a missionary, unless he is surrendered and busy  in the Father's work, right where God places him. It's not the PLACE, it's the HEART  that makes a missionary.  So how is it that we are, Lord willing, moving to Haiti in a few months?

Part 1 of "A peek into my journey"

I have been thinking a lot about blogging... why I blog and what I expect from my blog. Lots of thoughts going on here.
One area I want to grow in is being vulnerable enough to share a little more personally. That can be risky you know:) But God has been so good to me, and if what He has done in my life can bless or inspire YOU, then He will be blessed.

So, today I am starting a series of posts about one strand in my lifes tapestry. I stand amazed at how God can take one little life, and set in course HIS PLAN. My journey here is not perfect, but it is amazing and unique. And best of all, He is not finished with me (which turns into US, yet.) Its an exciting thing, to follow God. Its also scary sometimes, stretching, and sometimes, very hard. But its always worth it and its always, always laced with His. Amazing. Grace.



here we go... part 1


For as long as I can remember, even as a child, Haiti captivated me. When I was a wee child, I was there with my parents; could something have started a seed of desire in me  even then? 
My growing up years were years of ample opportunity to grow my independent and adventurous personality, and so, it wasn't a surprise that when an opportunity came for me to take a visit to Haiti at the young age of 15, my parents left me go.
My desire was fueled. I remember crying as we bumped out that long trail out the mountains. I wanted to stay.
Two more opportunities came and more of my heart stayed. During one of those trips I worked in a clinic, and now was I not only in the country I loved, with the Haitian people, but I was also working my dream as a nurses assistant. I was able to hold those chocolate drops and shower love into their little hearts, and my heart for children swelled.

I came home and worked several jobs, including   being a CNA. I traveled to several other countries, but none held my heart even close to what Haiti did.

During these years I attended several mission confrences. Somehow you could step across the threshold of that door and enter into Africa, or Haiti or other places across the big pond. Places where living was hard, but simple, where people sat by smokey fires to cook their food and where children ran around ragged but soaked up a smile and some love like a dry sponge.   Where they needed the Gospel, and nurses, and.....
it felt like the epitome of  a life well lived for God.

I know this was a personal perspective. They didn't intentionally make it sound like your life here didn't count. But I felt like that. A REAL missionary lived  in foreign lands.
God needed to reach me what mission work REALLY was. :)

Birds eye view.....

Memories with my dear Papa.
I treasure muchly.

Rainy days and the little things

Aren't Legos the grandest things?? Imaginations can build houses and hangers and cars and motor homes. Trailers and towers. Creativity flows and I feel like a rich queen to have a whole tub  of them ( many of which were found at a flee market.)

 #jackpotfind

I find myself being nastougic and savoring the little things a little more these days. I know it's all only " stuff", but I have pared down my "stuff" to pretty much that which brings me joy, what I really like, or what means something to me for a certain reason. Soon I will dismantle this house we have made memories in and have made ours the last 9 years. This rainy day I took pictures of a few of my favorite corners. 

I know your "supposed " to store your good silverware in a fancy chest, but I don't like all things traditional. Isn't the little yellow teapot holding my forks so cute? 

Brewing kombucha. ..

And this little motto was given to me by a dear friend soon after she knew we are leaving. I love this verse!!!

Grace... this word and these verses applying to Grace will go with me. I know I will need these promises for His sufficient grace during the hard and lonely times. And the goodbyes that are coming. 

Gifts....

I am thankful for......

A flight with my Papa

A brand new nephew.....

A picnic with friends. ...

Five happy, healthy children....

Fun family times.....

Double date nights...

And much much more. 

My life is simply blessed. 

I treasure the moments. The memories. The gifts. 

On wanting less....

One of my favorite reads in the also months has been  Joshua Becker. Although I am not a minimilist per say, I have purged and cleaned out and downsized like never before, and I don't see myself returning to a consumer lifestyle anytime soon.
It's freeing.
It's satisfying.
It  saves a lot of money.

And what I gave been most surprised at? How through this whole journey of budgeting and minimizing, I feel myself more content.

I feel myself changing:
I can go shopping and come home with very little. What I did buy, I usually really like. I think about purchases more,  and make wiser decisions. Thus, I have less regrets, less stuff, and save money.

I don't have to have everything now.
     Buying now usually means I pay more, where if I wait I may find it second hand for less or find it wasn't the need I thought it was.

My spaces are easier to maintain and clean.
   Over and over I read about how less stuff means mess to clean around = easier house to clean. It's also much easier to maintain a clutter free house most of every day. 
A personal example at our house: several months ago the girls and I went through their dolls and accessories and toys. We eliminated a large garbage bag full of stuff.
They haven't missed it since and they seem to play with what less they have just as much. 
Less toys =happier, more creative children.
Now I haven't only read it, I know it.
For us as parents:
We used to have a big roll top desk that mainly just stored " stuff". Recently we cleaned it out , sold it , and downsized to another chest of drawers to hold some essentials.
We have more space, less stuff and less furniture. And guess what..  we haven't missed the big desk at all, and, we are more forced to put things away vs hide them under that cover.

Joshua Becker said :"
Having less is great,
wanting less is better"

I totally agree. contentment helps me to not have to keep up with someone else. It helps me enjoy what I away ready have, & helps me to be more creative.

I'm sure God isn't finished with me, but I am thankful for the journey.

Then there came a time.....

For many a Friday night this young lady would wonder what it would be like to have a " normal" Friday night.  For over a decade our " normal " was having the Mr away til after 8:30 pm, and still go back to work on Saturday.
Counting blessings can elevate an wining spirit, but it can be a challenge, these nights alone,   especially with 5 Littles.

For the first time since I and he became WE, Jess is an employee. And tonight, he had off. No responsibilities to the store.

So we headed into the local train station for a picnic supper.

With grape chicken salad ...

  

This lovely couple.....

Happy little girls.....

Our all-out boy.....

And all of us!

#blessedandgrateful

Angel babe....

My dear niece, Shalom.
How I miss you,  sweet babe. I hardly even knew yiu, but you were so much a part of your mommy and aunties conversations and dreams. Some days I weep... hardly grasping the reality that you really are gone.
And yet, free.
I picture you touring heaven, wildly excited over some pretty flower, or giggling with grandma.  I see you looking into Jesus face when we are sad about you not being here, an asking Him to keep us faithful so one day this circle will not be broken.
You were so beautiful. So so pretty! !! But your body was so sick. Now you are whole! You make heaven and healing feel so real. I can't wait to see you again. And to pick you up and hold you close. I never got to do that here, and that makes me sad.
But one day, one day! We will all be together.
Maranatha...

Happy birthday Zoey!

You came into our life, and our hearts fell deeply in love with you. What a gift you are to our family!! Your name means LIFE and truely, you live up to that.

You have taught us that there is oil of joy for mourning, beauty for ashes and that redemption sometimes comes in small steps, but that EVERY STEP forward is a gift. 

You remind me of a butterfly.. fluttering among flowers. Your smile  makes my heart well in thankfulness when you spill over into giggles. 

You work so hard in school, and your consistent dream of being a teacher allows me to see a special part of your heart. 

God has great things in mind for you, precious. His plan for you is perfect. 

Beautiful. 

Full of redemption. 

You are a gift and we are honored to be 

the recipients.  

Happy 10th!!

11 years....and counting

We celebrate 11 years.... not perfect years of bliss, but years of learning and growing and loving more. Loving through the hard, the fun, the mundane,  days of joy and days of  sadness.  Our journey is so blessed, and I am thrilled to be here. No matter where God takes us, I hope it's many more miles TOGETHER.

The week long anniversary....

That's how this trip is feeling.... like we are on a week long anniversary trip. We've been having such a good time.... the first few days we explored the compound and ask a ton of questions. Phil and Karen became fast friends and they were very patient with us as we ask tons of questions, measured windows, shelves and figured out some minor remodeling to accommodate our larger family in the house we will be living in. Preston and Apphia blessed us by taking us into the village, out to supper, and answered more questions.

We are so thankful we were able to visit Labaliene before we actually move... it  def helps us to visualize our future abit more; know what we want to bring, ect.

On Sunday Prestons and Phils packed up and kindly made the 3+ hour trip up to Terre Rouge. We were thrilled to introduce them to Rhonda, and to see everyone here again!!!  We spend a lovely time singing on the roof, sharing lunch and then the surprise of Dons walking over in the afternoon.  Seeing karlee was so sweet... i am amazed at the grace and acceptance i felt as i saw her and held her for the first time since we closed the adoption process.

"All the way, my Saviour leads me..... Jesus doeth all things well"

She is doing well with her family, and although i found my heart tugging, i know that God never makes mistakes, and that He does give joy for mourning.

Today Rhonda and i spent hours on the roof... talking and catching up over coffee. It was wonderful!!! Jess and Less hauled stone up here along with the boys, as well as did odd jobs around the shop and house.

That's a quick catch up.. thank you for praying for us!

Littles

Summer is in full swing and my Littles are growing right along with the potatoes, tomatoes, broccoli l, onions, parsley, kale , and raspberries. Only the Littles are far more important to me than all that.
We are enjoying the summer; our last here, LW. I didn't realize that the "lasts" would feel so real... or that I would think of them so much. I didn't know it would be so hard to put myself into the things I normally love and enjoy; garden, yard and the flowers.
Maybe it's part of detaching. Maybe ( like a friend suggested) I am really maturing in that some things just don't have the priority they used to. Either way, it's been different.
Our first yard sale is over and did we ever get rid of a lot of stuff??!!! Thank you to each one who supported us in that... God is so good!

Perhaps some day I will blog our journey in several posts. In every way it has been amazing. It feels so natural to be doing what we are doing in this move to Haiti... for me it is a lifelong dream that I've had to lay down more than once. What a gift to have the same dream be born in Jess's  heart. I feel overwhelmed by it all.

We are taking another step... a trip to see where we will be living.. to see the mission and the work we are called to. To spend time with these people we love so much.. hopefully find a few little chocolate drops to shower some love on, and visit some of our dear friends in the mountains.

I will keep you posted  .. please let us  know if you stopped by .  We'd love to know who's with us here:)

I am partial,  of course, but she is becoming a very beautiful young lady!!!

Joshua finds a diversion to typical peanut butter and celery

Our  flower loving Abby

Kayte...as sweet as they come 

Our little man...wow. we are so blessed!!

Sugar and spice and everything. .. girl

I feel so incredibly blessed to have been given the honor to be mama to these lovely ladies.